Introduction

I suppose it all started in the summer of 1961 when my mum smiled at my dad and ...... well 9 months later my big sister had a wee brother.

I've always kind of thought it a bit unfair that she has a brother but I don't.

Anyway, a long time has passed since then and I've always meant to keep notes or jot down little stories along life's path, but somehow it just never happened. A close personal acquaintance and until recently, colleague (lets call him Steve, 'cos thats his name) has been pressing me for a few years now to put something down on paper and I always agreed it would be a good idea - I just never got around to it. Steve - thanks for laughing at the right times, for putting up with my strange and somewhat skewed sense of humour and for asking that I write it all down really slowly 'cos you can't read very fast.

My initial intention was to retrospectively write a life's diary by starting with brief notes covering anecdotes, memories, apocryphal tales and stories from my life; collate them into a rough chronological order; and expand the scribbled notes into something resembling a book - all in the vain hope someone would want to read it. Well Steve said he would. He never actually said he would pay for one though!  Instead, I've been persuaded to try blogging. I thought that was what happened in car parks after dark but apparently that's dogging.

The real catalyst in getting this thing started is my gorgeous and amazing step daughter. If it weren't for her resolute stance against her own personal problems (thanks Mr Cancer - not), her persuasive power, and her patience dealing with my technological ineptitude, this whole project would have become one of those little regrets that you look back on a say...... if only I had the patience to cope with lysdexic fingers I could have avoided that one.  Lisanne, I can never thank you enough for just being you.

My name is Gordon. I was born at very early age and grew up a very normal and accident prone boy, who excelled at nothing but enjoyed everything.

This whole process will take time, since it will all be regurgitated from memory and be splashed onto the pages in random order. All of the stories and tales I will post are either true or not. They either did happen or didn't. Some will involve poetic licence, amalgamation of various tales and happenings, falsehood, exaggeration of the most gratuitous kind, gross mis-representation or have just been made up. Some are actually real life experiences, or at least first/second/third hand accounts, but all had an affect on me. Maybe it's the cumulative effect that has turned me into the man I am today. Who knows. Who cares. I'm happy.

I once said to Steve:  Nobody likes me.
He replied: Wrong. Not everybody knows you yet.