Common throughout the policing world is the trust you have in your work colleagues. You could leave your wallet or money in the office and no-one would touch it. Leave your piece (food) and it would be fair game. Buy a hot meal and abandon it on the table to respond to an emergency call and expect it to have been scoffed by someone else before you returned. Forget to put your notebook away at the end of your shift and be prepared to find a " line'' when you next started duty.
Making the mistake of leaving items of kit lying around the station was asking for trouble. Apart from the general untidyness it created, any kit not locked away could and would be tamperd with.
One police hat left lying around was adorned on the inside with the words ''if found please return to Cunninghams fancy dress hire.'' The inside of police caps would be smeared in black shoe polish. Cap badges would mysteriously turn upside down and shoulder numbers on epaulettes rearranged. The opportunities were endless and ''all done in the best possible taste'' (okay - who remebers that phrase from 1980's tv? If so, what was the character's name?)
Its not that long ago that police unform was smart and recognisable. It comprised a white shirt, black tie, black trousers and a black tunic. So why the hell were we known as the boys in blue (rhetorical)?
Back in those days, traffic cops also wore a yellow vest. Nothing like the modern one piece equipment holder with EU approved high conspicuity reflective tape around the body and sleeves, but a simple yellow coloured tabard with a police sign stitched on the back by our ever helpful tailoress and, if you were Lucky, some vaguely reflective iron on tape that came off in the wash.
In the summer, during short sleeve order, the vests were always too big, and in winter, over every layer of police issue clothing you had, they appeared to have shrunk, took on the appearance of one 3 sizes too small and invariablý didn't fasten at the front. Mind you the velcro fastening didn't last long anyway.
Having inadvertantly left my black tie out one night, I returned the next day and couldn't find it. Despite much searching I was no closer to being reunited with it until a colleague started the hotter/colder routine as I wandered aimlessly around the office. After much cursing and blinding my tie was to be found. Unfortunately it was temporarily unusable. Someone had rolled it up and placed in the midst of an ice cream tub filled with water and left it overnight in the freezer. Wow - a solid snow globe. Easy solution, drop the ice block out of the window and release my tie from its glass like display case. Left to dry on the piece room radiator it would resume normal service in due course.
Suspecting the culprit (and later proved right), I seized the opportunity for revenge when I found Neil's vest lying about. Adopting the same tactics, I was impressed at how compactible a yellow vest can be and so returned the favour allowing him to ''find'' his frozen vest the following morning. Little did I know that the boss, who normally never explores the depths of the freezer, should encounter the vest whilst in a particularly bad mood. During what was later to be described - by him - as a ''sense of humour failure", he gave Neil hell for allowing his vest to become frozen, and went on the warpath seeking the person responsible.
Not until I arrived for lateshift did I know anything about the adverse reaction and on being warned of the boss's wrath I thought - best catch him off guard and march straight in there announcing my involvement. Well it worked. He was lost for words other than admit his over-reaction and sought my agreement that such childish behaviour would stop.
Having survived my ordeal, I returned to the duty room to be informed by Neil that although his vest was still drying, it was now the cleanest it had been since new. Despite numerous previous washes, none of which had removed the worst of the stains, the process of freezing had beaten the bio and non bio washing powders hand down.
Hope you can all find a big enough container and feeezer to use for your larger items of laundry?
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