Engineering porn

In the "piece room" at the station there was always an assortment of reading material, ranging from Federation literature, to car and bike magazines and, if we were lucky a copy of Machine Mart featuring very conceivable tool and piece of equipment known to man.

Being mechanically interested, we all had great pleasuring savouring the delights available at a fraction of the cost of other dealers. Does this constitute advertising, and if so, do I qualify for something free from these people?

After numerous (failed) attempts to install a working bike to bike radio system in our own bikes, JT and I scoured the Machine Mart catalogue - termed engineering porn at work - and decided on the tools and equipment we need. Time for a patrol of the town centre, culminating in a static check outside our favourite automotive retailer. Jings, crivens and help ma boab.... the shop was open. How could we waste such a coincidental opportunity?

Naturally, when you buy something it's commonplace to examine your purchases on the way home. So what's so different about checking out the suitability of our purchases on the way back to the station? None. That's what we thought.

Finding a suitable parking place, we set about opening the damned blister packaging with major frustration manifesting itself using the medium of swear words. After finding another use for a seatbelt cutter we accessed the tools and naturally had to make sure they were up to the job. That was  our first mistake. Taking that first screw out of the dashboard was the second, and before we knew it, the dashboard was a hairbreadth from being separated from the car altogether.

Why is that when car makers put the dashboard in place, they use screws that become invisible when removed and have to be replaced in order to prevent the dashboard squeaking for the rest of eternity?
On the upside, the tools were great and dismantling the dash let us see the wiring that helped us with the bike to bike radio project. Getting it all back together again was hilarious and thanks to our purchases completed before shift change.

Surprisingly and thankfully our vehicle dismantling morning remained a secret longer than the car was in active use.