Pisses on the cat

Many years ago I heard a story of a young primary school kid. Like I did in my day, this child had to write a diary each day and the teacher would "check" it.

One day, the teacher was shocked to read the entry. It read - " each night my dad comes home from the pub and pisses on the cat."

Worried, the teacher called the child aside and asked him what he had written. Unperturbed, the boy repeated his words:  " each night my dad comes home from the pub and pisses on the cat."

Fearing there might be at least animal cruelty, possibly something more sinister,  the teacher referred the matter to the headmaster who read the diary and asked to speak to the boy. Nonchalantly the boy maintained his story:  " each night my dad comes home from the pub and pisses on the cat."

Worried that the school might be implicated if they took no action, the headmaster called the RSPCA who sent an officer around.

After much discussion, the RSPCA officer suggested the police interview the boy. A constable duly arrived and in the presence of the teacher, headmaster and RSPCA officer, asked the boy to explain what he had written. 

The boy innocently claimed that when his dad comes home from the pub, he bends down, clicks his fingers at the cat and goes pus, pus, pus, pus, pus.