Please wait to be seated

Shift nights out can be a hoot. Hair gets let down by those with enough to let it down and generally much beer is consumed. Christmas shift nights out are all the better. There have been meals and drinks, drinks and meals, drinks, meals and more drinks, organised party nights, fancy dress, worst Hawian shirt and Casino adventures. Every one of them a belter in their own right.

One such Christmas party night was at the Earl Grey Hotel in Dundee.  We all met in the nearby 1970's theme pub and after a skinful wandered over to the Hotel where we were directed to a waiting area/foyer just outside the function suite. There we found a small bar and a lecturn manned by a lovely young lady, who would escort us to our table. The sign on the lecturn read ''Please wait here to be seated''.

At that time, no-one thought anything of it, but by the time we had finished the 4 course meal accompanied by assorted wines, beers, and cocktails it was time for a smoke, so some of us retired to the foyer and some comfy chairs... oh and the bar. (in those days civilisation still prevailed and smoking indoors was allowed).

Luxuriating in the large arm chairs beside the aforementioned lecturn, we had a clear and uniterupted view of the ladies toilet. Let me add this was not a factor in our choice of seating location, just a coincedental placement of the most comfortable chairs.

However, it is quite apparent when seated there, that the female party goers would visit the toilets with great regularity and at times, a small queue would develop, such was the need to use the facilities.

What better than to cause some additional yet unneccesary queuing by simply moving the sign from the lecturn. During a quiet spell, the sign was carefully positioned on the door of the ladies toilet. After a few minutes, the first ''customer'' arrived and duly stood waiting ''to be seated''. Soon a queue built up with the ones at the back unable to see the sign and assuming there was just a ''rush on''.

Finally, one lady could hold it in no longer and rushed headfirst into the empty ''gents'', quickly followed by half the queue until someone had the common sense to check the ladies and discover it had been empty for the past 10 minutes.

Simple things amuse simple people. Well we found it funny.