Naturally, when you choose to live in a foreign land it is important to comply with all the red tape and do things like exchange your UK driving licence for a NL one, register with the Local Authority (Gemeente) as resident of their fine city, open a bank account and look for a job. Sounds easy doesn't it? No its not!
I now know from experience, and am eternally grateful that most Netherlanders speak perfect English. Hell, some of them even better than most Brits. But why do they have to make it so difficult for us.
Opening a bank account; not available until you register as a resident and get a BSN (a bit like a social security number). So off I pop to the town hall, wait in a big queue to finally reach the front and explain my needs. "Take a ticket"
What? "Take a ticket" and you'll be seen by the correct person!
Okay, I went over to the ticket machine only find it was available only in Dutch and not a lot of help to me, a newcomer and non Dutch speaker. Off I go back to the counter in search of someone to help, all of whom are behind bandit screens ( now I understand why) and the ever so helpful girl there listens to my plight, understands that i need assistance and tells me to "take a ticket" and when its my turn, someone will help me with the machine that gives out tickets. Did she not see the irony here? By this time I'd lost my sense of humour and eventually managed to find another customer to help with the ticket dispensing queue buster. After what seemed like an eternity, I was called forward and explained I wanted to register as a resident. "Let me make an appointment for you to speak to someone about that" was the suggestion. Why don't you just deal with this just now - was my reply. Oh no. We had to make an appointment for the following week, but at least this time I had a fixed appointment, at a set time. With her!!!!!
Next week duly arrived and armed with every document I could conceivably think would be needed, I presented myself at the same counter. The same girl looks at me as if I've got two heads. I've got an appointment I said. "Take a ticket" she replied.
I couldn't believe it. You go along and "take ticket" to see someone to make an appointment to come back and take a ticket" to wait to see the person you made the appointment with. I thought I'd seen it all!!!
A few weeks later, I went to the local Gemeente instead of the town hall, thinking that would be less of a challenge..... How wrong I was. Expecting the "take a ticket" routine I thought I'd flummoxed them by not only finding the machine but managing to extract a ticket from it. Arriving at the counter I was however informed that I didn't need a ticket at that office, but would need an appointment which they couldn't (I say wouldn't) make for me. What the !!!! No, I was given a phone number and asked to call this number to arrange an appointment. Bugger thought I. Oh well, the house is just around the corner, I'll pop home, make the call and set up an appointment. As the phone was answered i thought.... double bugger. The recorded message was in Dutch and I assume giving me various options at the press of a button, none of which I understood. So once again it was back to the local Gemeente to explain to the girl who spoke perfect English that I didn't speak or understand Dutch and therefor couldn't make an appointment by phone. She handed me the same form as before, bearing the same number and said I had to use that or go to the town hall and "take a ticket". Bitch
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