Johns house for sale

Many years ago, a friend and fellow japester of mine, John (known locally as the mobile roundabout) decided to have a holiday. He should have known better than to tell us his travel arrangements. You see, he was one of the crew that bricked up George's front door and should have forseen something was likely to happen to him aswell. It did. Threefold. Having had a few months of advance notice, the rest of us agreed on a few wizard wheezes. We would all collect as many newspapers as we could. Friends and family were enroled too. By the time John went away on holiday, we had amassed over 3cwt of papers and magazines, all of which were posted through his letterbox during his 2 week absence. Since the postman would also be delivering post during John's holiday, John would have to sort through the whole lot to recover legitimate mail before he could dispose of the assorted paper waste. I've got a good idea, someone said. What is is, someone else replied. Lets add to his welcome home by jacking up the rear wheels of his car just enough that he won't notice, but when he tries to drive off, the wheels won't be in contact with the road and the car won't go anywhere. Easily achieved with no damage of interference with the car's security. Rather than keep that one for another victim, we agreed that would be easier than trying to get into his car and leaving a piece of cheese under the seat. Voila - another masterful ruse. The final embelishment to our plot was to advertise his house for sale. Not easily achieved for real, since ownership has to be proved, but easily enough suggested by the addition of a bona fide 'For Sale' sign strategically placed in his front garden. Enquiries were made and a favour called in and lo and behold a sign appeared in Johns garden. Sadly we weren't all in place to see his return, but his next visitation to the pub involved a few choice expletives and sworne revenge. Never happended though!!